officialunitedstates:

Got a wasp nest in your backyard?  I’ll shoot it with my sniper rifle.  Sometimes the nest explodes, and sometimes I miss and hit your barbeque grill, but that’s all part of the experience.  $20 a nest

3 hours ago // 2,193 notes

oedipus-sex:

imagine your current friend group but dwayne the rock johnson is an unquestioned part of it

3 hours ago // 115,447 notes

hippiebabysitterr:

today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”

to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older

they were going to get fakes to buy fish

3 hours ago // 214,411 notes

marvelheadcanons:

Imagine Bucky being really self-conscious about his arm until one day a little boy with an artificial leg runs up to him saying that they match. 

3 hours ago // 7,716 notes

vercxce:

My internet was down for 5 minutes so i went downstairs and spoke to my family

They seem like nice people

3 hours ago // 57,784 notes

stearic:

"humankind" more like “humanmean"

3 hours ago // 261,748 notes
And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself. (via chipsnodip)

(Source: irynka)

3 hours ago // 391,580 notes